What's In a Name?

Third in line after “How did he propose?” and “Have you set a date?” often comes the nail biter: “Will you take his name?”
    For many women it’s a no-brainer. Of course (well, maybe!) you’ll take his name. You’re marrying him, aren’t you? Still for others (like me), the answer calls for a strategy.
    There are about as many ways to take Hubs’s name as there are hashbrown toppings at Waffle House: take it, don’t take it, hyphenate it, add it, take it but don’t use it, use it but don’t take it, ask him to take your name or just make up an entirely new name altogether.
    When Dave and I married three years ago, I simply tacked his last name, Newman, onto mine, Maddux. I’m now Margie Maddux Newman. It’s not hyphenated, although my bank likes linking them that way, and that’s fine.
    My struggle on whether or not to take Newman as my own was not a feminine power or cultural statement, nor was it an appeal to family legacy. It was because I was afraid of not being found if someone looked for me.
    If I had not kept some form of my maiden name and you Googled “Margie Maddux,” you would find the past me but not today’s me. And if you Googled “Margie Newman,” you would find no trace of “Margie Maddux,” as though I had completely and purposefully severed ties with the first few (and important) years of my career — and my life.
    My strategy was this: instead of dropping the maiden name altogether, I used it to lay a virtual trail of breadcrumbs to the newly married me. When I shake hands with a stranger, I say, “I’m Margie Newman,” but if you search for “Margie Newman,” you’ll find all the versions of me ... a complete “me” collection.
    As I’ve said before, future employers (if they’re smart!) will Google you. If you’ve had several years (or decades) of success, published works and achievements, or have maintained social accounts like Facebook and LinkedIn, just tack that new name onto the end so folks can still find you.
    Please don’t misunderstand me; I’m not saying you must use your maiden name in conversation or on Christmas cards, business cards, email addresses, your mortgage, etc. Drop that maiden name like it’s hot if you want to, but don’t lose it altogether. That’s all I’m saying.
    We live in a Googling world, sisters! Let your online identity evolve with and lead people to you. Of course, no matter what name game you play, make the decision that’s best for you; don’t base your choice on the judgments of others. Enjoy every moment of marriage — no matter what you call yourself!