Lindsay Ferrier

When it comes to tacky, few towns can compete with Myrtle Beach. See that picture? The main drag of the coastal South Carolina city is a redneck's paradise of henna tattoo parlors, dirty arcades, gum-covered sidewalks, Ripley's Believe It or Not attractions, body piercers, hair wrappers, and trashy T-shirt shops. Last week, my family visited Garden City Beach, which is about 15 minutes from Myrtle Beach.

When butts were given out in heaven, I must have been taking a catnap.

I have absolutely no junk in my trunk — never have, even when I was pregnant — and for the most part, I’m pretty happy about it. I mean a big, round butt requires some maintenance, doesn’t it? It would call for an extra step in my (fantasy) gym routine, and I’m pressed for time as it is. Instead, I feel blessed to have the freedom to ignore my butt altogether.

This week's style dare is more of a guilty secret ... one that comes with a story.

A few years ago, I was at Walgreen's when I spotted it: a long, clip-on Scunci ponytail that was exactly the same color as my own hair. It was only $15.99 and, on a whim, I bought it. I'd probably never actually wear it, but I figured it might come in handy for a costume party some day.

I've never been one to store things in my bra. I've got quite enough in there already, if you get my drift, not to mention a closet full of purses and scads of clothes that come with a revolutionary addition called  ...

POCKETS.

For a while my son thought my bra was nothing more than a handy way to warm up his mitts when I was carrying him, but other than that, nothing has ever gone into my bra other than ... well... what was supposed to go there.

At least until this latest Style Dare.

I have to wonder what brand of crack designers were smoking when they came up with the romper. And I can only assume they shared that crack with the multitude of celebrities that have turned up in them this season.

It had to be a joke.

A reader sent me a link to a website for a product called the Backtacular. According to the site, it was a“gluteal cleft shield” — a fancy term for a sticky piece of cloth decorated with rhinestones and designed to cover the butt cracks of low-rise jean wearers.

At the Spring 2010 Ready-to-Wear shows, they were in abundance at Burberry Prorsum ...

... and they also were a staple at Christian Dior.

A couple of months ago, I began receiving a number of e-mails from readers.

"Have you seen these?" some wrote. "You have to try them out!" others declared.

Lately, my favorite fashion blogs fall into a category known as "street style." The authors of these blogs roam the sidewalks in some of the chicest cities in the world, snapping photos of women and men with inspiring style. I’ve begun using these blogs as a fashion reference far more than the online recaps of runway shows, because think about it. Are you more likely to take cues from a 90-pound woman wearing futuristic makeup and sewn into a leather/fur/chiffon creation as she struts down a catwalk?

Not long ago, one of my readers raved about the deals she finds at Goodwill. Oh, the designer handbags, the name brand dresses and jackets and tops and skirts! How fabulous it all was, and how CHEAP! And it occurred to me then that I hadn’t really gone thrifting since college.