Joslyne Decker

The first time my husband, Demetri, and I almost got divorced was before we were married. We were registering for wedding gifts at Bed Bath & Beyond, and my darling, almost-husband decided that we needed a bed skirt. Badly. And I decided we did not. I gently and ever-so-diplomatically stated my preference. (Actually, I think I may have said, “I will not marry you if you register for that piece of unnecessary crap.” Semantics.) After a brief physical struggle over the bar code scanner, we are now the proud owners of a taupe bed skirt. 

We never went on spring break this year. Instead we stayed home, living with a 24/7 protester. And not just any protester. A moody, 11-month-old protester who is constantly changing her stance on all issues.

Given Cheerios instead of Goldfish? Fight the power!

Time to go in the car seat? Hell no, she won't go!

Is dada about to change her diaper? Don't let the man beat her down!

Is the dog looking at her? Did a dust mote land on her big toe?

Any and all issues have the potential to spark radical protest.