How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Text the Ways
As Valentine’s Day approaches, I thought those intelligent, imaginative, and inspiring Her Nashville readers might be interested in a lighthearted story about the latest trends in dating and texting.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the first handmade Valentine’s Day card dates back as far as 1700. It’s not difficult to imagine communication patterns between love interests have changed dramatically over the past few centuries, especially considering how much has changed since you dropped that secret admirer note in the heart-clad Valentine’s Day basket belonging to your fourth grade crush just a few years ago.
Rather than the mass-produced holiday cards splashed with pinks and reds and filled with heartfelt messages, people today have turned to texting to express feelings, flirt, and arrange dates. Mobile-to-mobile messaging has become a significant form of communication between love interests.
But with simplified and immediate communication comes challenges of misinterpretation and confusion.
As cupid winds up to release his love-filled arrow next week, make sure your message isn’t one that may be misunderstood. Textiquette must be top-of-mind when transmitting romantic texts, according to “real life Carrie Bradshaw” Nicole Beland, features director for Women’s Heath magazine.
The following is a list of do’s and don’ts for proper texting, according to Beland:
• Do text sweet nothings. A short text during the day can make your significant other suddenly happier to see you when you get home.
• Do text long distance. Texting can create a surprising sense of connection because it's so immediate — you can send messages the second they pop into your mind. Even though you're miles away, your partner feels right there.
• Do text before a first date. Keep predate communication light and fun. Ask about his favorite bands, movies, and places to hang out, and then use the info to kick-start conversation while you're sitting across the table.
• Do respond ASAP. Most people are never far from their mobile phones, so if you don't reply in a timely fashion, the other person will assume he is being ignored. In a 2008 survey, 24 percent of texters ranked a slow response among the biggest turnoffs when texting with a date or a spouse.
• Don't guess. If a message is cryptic or vague, wait until you're face to face with the sender to get clarity.
• Don't over-abbreviate. You want to be brief in a text message, but it's considered proper textiquette to stick with terms and symbols that most people know and use.
• Don't be rude or break bad news. Breaking up via text may be efficient, but it isn't classy — and in a hyper-connected culture, a bad reputation can spread fast.
• Don't text angry. Sure you can express general frustration with a "Grrr ... " or an "Ugh," but pick up the phone to hash things out.
Cathy Lewandowski is the AT&T Tennessee/Kentucky Market Manager with Fleishman-Hillard for AT&T Corporate Communications. Follow her on Twitter: @cathylewusa.
