Decoding the Codes: Coming to America

Every city in the world has its own codes. I know that. I grew up in Paris, France, where codes run the social life. There are rules for the school you attend, the neighborhood where you live, the places you go for holidays, the clothes you wear, and of course rules for your sports club. Why should Nashville be different?

When you move to another country the first thing you want is a social life, and to achieve it there are two conditions: you need connections, and you need to get familiar with the rules of your new community. Suddenly friends of friends become your best friends. I would never have called a friend of my sister’s friend in Paris, but here in Nashville, it was my first connection with a real social life. Thanks to that wonderful new friend, I was sure that my new life was about to start.

According to my first connection, the first code in the Nashvillian social life is written in four letters, and here I am: YMCA. I asked my husband to come with me to the YMCA in Green Hills to become a member.

The next morning I was dying to try the “Step Circuit” class.  Sure the class was more than hard for me, but I really felt self-pity when I noticed that I was one of the youngest ladies in the room unable to dance the Zumba, which seemed to be an aerobic salsa that I had never heard of before. Being less athletic than the others was already humiliating, but the real kicker was when the teacher came next to me and said, “Are you new? Please say hello and welcome to our new French member.” I was exposed, whereas I just wanted to remain incognito in the back of the room to better observe the fitness codes of my new classmates. In French I would have said that I felt like an elephant in a porcelain shop.

Two days later I was ready to show off my yoga abilities. After all, I learned yoga in India. Entering the room I immediately noticed that I was the only one wearing shorts. Why should I be wrong? In India you don’t practice yoga with air conditioning or a fan, but here in Nashville the room is cold, and I’m freezing. Smart enough not to focus on that detail, I started my sun salutation. Concentrating on my breathing, I saw all their toes and especially all their nails. Every woman from the youngest to the eldest had a perfect pedicure except a 70-year-old man. And me! How do you practice yoga hiding your toes?

So far the Y was helping my new social life. Perhaps tennis would be the key to my social success. How could it be different from tennis in France? I’ve been playing tennis since the age of 6 except the last past 10 years. Of course I rapidly discovered that once again I was the only one to wear shorts instead of a skirt. Honestly, how can women play without tennis balls in their pockets? I still don’t know, which is far less disappointing than my tennis level. First of all I suspected my racket to be responsible for that, but after buying a brand new racket, I had to admit that my stressful Parisian way of life these past 10 years was the only explanation.

After all of my exciting adventures, I decided to let my husband try the swimming pool. It was an early morning in July when he decided to dive into the swimming pool to crawl a few miles. I was so proud imagining him young and strong in the swimming pool at 6 a.m. Surprisingly, he came back exhausted and less proud than when he'd left. First of all he was the only one without goggles, which is, in my own experience, a very small detail. More embarrassing was the moment he realized he was swimming in the wrong direction. Nonetheless he didn't give up, and he struggled to swim almost 600 feet whereas the other guys — a 55-year-old and two 25-year-old guys — did at least double that and were really far from stopping.

Being a member at the YCMA is easy, but complying with the codes attached to the American way of sports is more complicated. In fact we are told very young what to do or not to do, but when you come to a different country where rules are different, there are no parents or teachers to help. That leads you to awkward or embarrassing situations, but most of them are funny. And this is why I tried to write them down. And before even trying to break these codes, which is what people do all the time, I need to decipher them and consequently understand them. It will take time, but there are few things more interesting than discovering a country such as the United States and its culture.

As the president said, I have to “take the baton and bring this effort to the finish line” if I want to be a real member of the YMCA and Nashville. So from now on I go to Signature nails for a pedicure every three weeks, even in winter. I bought training pants, goggles, and a tennis skirt, which I have still not worn. And above all I observe, listen, and even if it is in our nature to judge each other, for once in my life I don’t conclude anything. I just try to adjust my way of thinking. And doing sports.