Crazy for Craigslist

Have you ever made a purchase on Craigslist? Today was my first time. I bought my husband a brand new iPod Touch, and may I say of the experience: Kind of awkward.

Is it just me, or does shopping on Craigslist feel strangely like online dating? So nerve wracking! You scrutinize pictures, you feel suspicious of anyone who doesn’t post pictures, you see something you like, you take a chance … and then you pray it turns out as advertised.
 
Having seen an iPod Touch that looked promising, I called and left its owner a message. As soon as I hung up the phone, I was 16 again and single. PLEASE LET HIM CALL PLEASE LET HIM CALL PLEASE LET HIM CALL!

Twenty minutes later, guess what?

HE CALLED! HE CALLED! OMG!!!

And what was the first thing I thought when he called?

I like his voice.

Not “I have procured a new iPod Touch for my beloved husband, and that pleases me,” but “The seller has a very nice voice. He sounds like a good person.”

AS IF IT MATTERS.

And then! And then, of course we had to come up with a place to meet. And I was all, “Ohmygod! You live in East Nashville? I live in East Nashville! We are like-minded persons with similar tastes! This is going to be the BEST iPOD PURCHASE EVER! (Squeeeeee!)”

So we agreed to meet at a local coffee shop (where else?), and I (of course, totally typical) got there a little early (and fixed my hair in the rearview mirror), and do you know what I was thinking? I couldn’t help myself. Do you know what I was thinking as I awaited this total stranger selling my husband’s soon-to-be iPod Touch?

I hope he likes me.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I am a happily married woman, purchasing an iPod Touch, not some other kind of touch … ugh. Just. Clearly I do not have my mental health.

So Mr. iPod pulls up in his (nice, reliable, not overly flashy) sedan (not that I noticed), holds up the iPod (to let me know it’s him; thoughtful(!)) and gets out of his car, signaling me to wait a second because he’s talking on his cell phone.

Please.

So cocky! I might as well just go home right now. Who talks on his cell phone when he’s about to meet the woman with whom he will soon be EXCHANGING AN ELECTRONIC GADGET FOR CASH?

He shook my hand and introduced himself.

(Firm handshake. A sign of integrity! Or aggression. NOT THAT IT MATTERS.)

“Well,” he said. “I hope you enjoy it.”

“Oh, it’s actually for my husband,” I said. (Because at this point I have lost my mind and feel psychotically compelled to demonstrate that I am not some dowdy spinster trying to quench my loneliness with on-the-go access to a comprehensive music library.) 

“Well then I hope your husband enjoys it. These things are pretty cool.”

“Yes they are!” I said, trying to act natural (i.e. basically saluting this poor stranger). “I mean, I’ve heard they are. I can’t say I know first-hand, because I’ve never actually used one (but I’m going to go ahead and shut my mouth and walk away now before I do something really awkward like curtsy)!”

That evening, relieved to have survived my first Craigslist encounter, I wrapped the iPod in ribbon and placed it on the kitchen table.

When my husband opened it, he smiled and said, “You are the coolest gift-getter ever.”

If only he knew.