For the past several years, my family has been observing what we call Christmashanukkah. My husband is Catholic, and I am Jewish. Between us, we have four children: my two sons and his two daughters. With the ages ranging from 13 - 17, we knew that we needed to find a way to keep both traditions alive ... to make the holiday season something that they would look forward to, regardless of our different religious backgrounds.
    Obviously, I was never a Christmas observer before getting married, but our daughters lost their mother, Jane, to cancer seven years ago. Christmas was always a big deal in their home, and so my husband and I wanted to make sure that we kept those memories alive. Some people might think that finding a balance between two extremes would be complicated and confusing, but it has actually come to be a lot of fun.
    Each year, all six of us go out to pick a Christmas tree and trim it. That is one of our favorite activities because the girls have so many homemade and family ornaments that they have collected over the years. It is wonderful to hear the memories, and it’s so meaningful because those stories all involve their mom. On Christmas Eve day, we serve egg nog and gingerbread cookies, along with traditional Jewish treats like potato latkes. We make it a point to play Christmas carols and dreidel, a game traditionally played during Hanukkah. We also exchange both Christmas and Hanukkah gifts with one another.
    What some people may not know is that Hanukkah is not one of the highly significant holidays in the Jewish religion. Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year), Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement) and Passover are far more significant to us. But because Hanukkah falls around the Christmas season (this year it’s sunset on December 21 to nightfall on December 28), it’s gained general popularity. Hanukkah, or the Festival of Lights, is observed because during the era of Alexander, Antiochus IV, many Jews were oppressed by the Greeks. During a revolt against both the assimilation of the Hellenistic Jews and oppression by the Seleucid Greek government, a revolution succeeded, and the Jewish Temple was rededicated.
    According to the Talmud, there was very little oil left over that was not defiled by the Greeks. We needed oil to light the menorah, our Jewish candelabrum, which was supposed to burn in the Temple throughout the night. There was only enough oil for one day, but miraculously, the menorah burned for eight. On the eighth day, this miracle was celebrated. That is basically the history of Hanukkah.
    Although Christmas is not a part of my upbringing, through my blended family, I have come to see that there are certain values that are very similar between the Christian and Jewish faiths. First of all, our foundation, the Old Testament, is exactly the same. Therefore, there are basic principles that we all uphold. Unfortunately, I think both holidays have become so commercialized that we miss out on the important commonalities: the beauty and value of welcoming strangers; the importance of being kind and compassionate to those around you; the opportunity to spend real quality time with your family, both near and far; and finding creative ways to show love to those who matter most to you. I think that a lot of us are so caught up in doing what we’ve always done just because it’s Christmas or Hanukkah, that our hearts have lost a lot of the meaning behind it.
    In some Jewish families, they keep the Hanukkah tradition of giving a gift each night for eight nights, which I used to do with my sons. But now, in order to stay centered on the beauty of sharing beyond what our money can buy, my family focuses instead on doing something nice for one another or doing something within the community. Being that my husband is Catholic, I have attended Christmas mass at the Holy Name Catholic Church with him in East Nashville, and he has attended High Holiday services with me at my synagogue, The Temple. I have always been very comfortable attending Mass. I don’t kneel or take communion, but I always enjoy the messages ... the message of love, family and unity that is emphasized during the holiday season. I am not so caught up in being in church that I miss the point of the lessons shared there.
    Personally, I think that’s what’s most important ... to not be so focused on the nuances, but rather on the blessings. My initial family of three is now a family of six. Everyday, I have double joy. This year, that joy will be multiplied as we go to New York to be with my in-laws. It will be a home with plenty of food, wine and loud, Italian Catholics who are full of love and fully embrace my boys and me as part of their family.   
    That’s why, while it may be complicated for some families, finding a way to blend our faiths is actually very simple. Love for one another and for family — and celebrating that — is what makes every Christmashanukkah something we look forward to every single year ... no matter where ... no matter what ... so long as we’re all together.