A Thistle Farms Wedding

For about five years, my small Victorian house played host to a riotous holiday party called “HalcyArt.” Dozens of talented potters, knitters, glassmakers and sculptors displayed their wares on a December Saturday, and hordes of 12Southers crammed into my hallway and dining room to shop, imbibe and catch up. Even the rafters seemed to pulsate. I feared for the structure’s 100-year-old pier “foundation,” and I wondered why I’d just spent three months planning an event that threatened to tear my house down.

A couple of hours before the final HalcyArt gathering, two of the vendors—women from an organization called Magdalene—came bustling in and unpacked their handmade Thistle Farms body products in a tiny, out-of-the-way back bedroom I’d set up for them. I’d met them while working on a radio story about Magdalene—a nonprofit residential program for women recovering from lives of addiction and prostitution—and Thistle Farms, a cottage industry run by Magdalene residents and grads.

Worried that folks might not find the two ladies tucked back there away from all the fuss and flurry, I peeked in about mid-party, only to discover that the cramped little room had become the thrumming heart of the festivities.

Party guests leaned in, spellbound, towards the Magdalene women, who poured out horrific and hopeful stories of violence, survival, and renewal. And those rapt listeners carried out armfuls of Thistle Farms products: deliciously scented lip balms, candles, and lotions the women produce themselves to benefit Magdalene’s recovery program.
In that moment, my worries suddenly seemed miniscule. The ravenous crowd, the rapidly emptying cases of wine, the full day of cleaning and furniture-moving that lay ahead, the looming possibility of structural failure—inconsequential absurdities compared to the horrors those women have lived and overcome. And their presence at HalcyArt, for me, exalted the evening, made it something indescribably lovely, unforgettable, and transcendent.

The women of Magdalene/Thistle Farms always seem to lift me outside of myself and my ridiculous concerns, like whether a holiday party I’m throwing will end in triumph or some sort of sensational disaster.

Planning a wedding isn’t so different. It’s easy to lose yourself in a host of mean little worries, like florists, photographers, color-schemes and catering. But Thistle Farms offers an antidote to the perils of falling into self-obsessed Bridezillery: as your wedding approaches, consider sharing just a little bit of the spotlight with the women of Magdalene.
 
Here are a few ideas for how to direct some of the effort and expenditure of your special day towards some very special women:

• Order lavender-scented rice sachets in your wedding colors for your guests to throw after the ceremony. (Sachets are bird-safe.)

• Give your wedding party and special guests custom gift baskets of Thistle Farms products with a personal note signed by the women who created the products.

• Let Thistle Farms supply modest wedding favors for all your guests—they suggest scented lip balms with a souvenir card printed with the couple’s name and wedding date.

• Offer guests a keepsake framed postcard explaining that you’ve donated funds to Thistle Farms in your guests’ honor in lieu of wedding favors.

•  Include a little Thistle Farms pampering at your bridal shower: two Magdalene women will share their inspiring stories and offer up their handmade, healing elixirs—body polish, lip balms, and body butter, redolent of tea tree mint, lavender, or citrus vanilla.

•  For the full “Thistle Farms Wedding” experience, invite your bridal shower guests to spend a morning with the women at Thistle Farms, exchanging stories and touring the facility. Your guests can even create the lavender rice sachets you’ll use on your wedding day.

As Jennifer Devine Adam planned her October 2010 wedding, she thought about the many bridesmaid gifts she’d received over the years and decided to do something different for her own wedding party. “I didn’t want to get my ladies another piece of jewelry they may never wear again,” she says. “I wanted the gifts to mean something.”
 
Jennifer gave her bridesmaids birch baskets filled with Thistle Farms lotions, candles and lip and body balms. “My ladies loved the baskets,” she says. “And once I told them more about Thistle Farms and the Magdalene House, they were happy that their gift was something meaningful.” To learn more about planning a Thistle Farms wedding, visit: thistlefarms.org/index.php/have-a-thistle-farms-wedding.