Wedding weight woes: Just say no to the battle with the scale

There isn’t much that I love more than a wedding. I got married over three years ago, but I can still be found covertly recording "Say Yes To the Dress" on my DVR every Friday night. It’s a sickness, really, but there is something so alluring about the romance of it all. Beautiful dresses and flowers, reluctantly adorable men in tuxedos, and the promise of eternal love and commitment. It’s all so picture perfect, isn’t it?

Therein lies the trap.

“Picture perfect” is all about appearances, and appearances — for many women — are inextricably tied to body image. When it’s our turn to be the bride, many of us take what should be a happy celebration of our connection with our partners and turn it into a referendum on our bodies and our sense of style. We find ourselves fixating on tired, old insecurities as the big day approaches.

As a personal trainer, I get a lot of calls from women trying to lose weight in advance of their weddings. They want to be able to pull that corset tight and fulfill the dream of how they should look in their wedding pictures.

I get it.

By all rights, it is the one time in our lives when it seems like everything should fall blissfully into place, and for some women it does. I have seen clients and friends drop weight without cutting out so much as a single serving of Manchego. When it happens that way, fantastic. But what if it doesn’t? If a woman maintains her regular, real-life weight, should her day be any less celebrated? Should she feel any less blessed, beautiful, and loved?

Many of my clients who start exercising madly before a wedding end up disappointed because their goals are set too high, or they don’t have the time or energy to make the changes necessary for significant weight loss. The struggle to lose weight is something they face every day, whether there is a wedding on the horizon or not. I wish they could see the wedding as a reason to let go of that struggle rather than a reason to fixate on it. There are much better things to focus on as you anticipate the big day; the day when you get to have everyone you love in one room, supporting you and wishing you well.

As my own wedding approached, I lost weight completely effortlessly for the first and only time in my life. Frankly, it was a bizarre feeling. The war I waged my entire adult life was suddenly no war at all. The stubborn 10 pounds I could never kick suddenly lifted off and floated away. I felt like an idiot for wasting decades and incalculable amounts of energy battling myself over pounds that could be lost in a blink under the right circumstances.

But my momentary reprieve from the weight loss Ferris wheel proved to be a mirage. After the big day, every pointless pound steadily crept back on like a dear old friend coming over nightly for a glass of wine on the couch and a few hundred old episodes of "Say Yes to the Dress". I went down; I went up. And the funny thing is … it didn’t matter one bit to my husband. He loved me down, and he loved me right back up again.

Weddings can bring that magical lightness of being, or they can bring enormous pressure and frustration. The brilliant truth of the matter is that the husbands-to-be are always in love with their women just the way they are. They proposed marriage that way, and they want their brides to be the beautiful people that they have adored from the very beginning.

So I tell my clients: We will do everything we can to help you look as sexy and stunning as possible. But the best way to ensure that you will look happy and healthy on your wedding day is to be happy and healthy, strong and fit, to exercise and get lots of fresh air, to celebrate the upcoming day and put your focus on spending the rest of your life with the person you love. It has absolutely nothing to do with losing weight or dropping a dress size. It has everything to do with confidence and joy.

Letting go of the pressure to lose weight is easier said than done, but if you are taking good care of yourself, your beauty will shine brightly in the photo on the mantel, from this day forward, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.

Comments

DonnaSmith's picture

Increase in weight is one of the major issue today. If you are going to marry and have a huge weight then it will create a problem. Many woman complaint about increase in weight but no one ready to control diet. This is really a major concern. I think weight loss is a major part today which will help to live happily and attract others with a good health. Herbal treatment on weight loss would be a good idea. It has no side effects and help to loose weight easily. herbal incense

raok7's picture

This is not so critical condition you just need to take care of yourself as the time passes you feel better...
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Now-a-days more number of people are considered about their health and they are giving more emphasis on the health analysis so that they are more emphasis on the increasing weight of each and every person. Particularly there are many women those who are more interested in shedding their weight and to look perfect. For this we need to be healthy first and then only we could look healthy and maintain our weight and look perfect on the day.
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Adam Prowse's picture

Do proper fitness training for controlling your weight and enhance your fitness.
Control your diet, avoid the fried and fast foods to reduce the fat percentage in your diet.
Eat more fresh fruits, vegetables, and sea foods for the easy weight control.

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In my opinion, ones wedding should be a chance to begin loving yourself as you are (your future husband does, if he wants to marry you), not trying to nutritionally chop off the sides of your body. My childhood friend had her wedding two months ago, and told me how just a few accidental meetings with Dr. Ronald Glousman changed her overall view on weight loss.

The body image is very important especially for women. We want to look great, to have a perfect body shape and to be appreciated by everyone. I've recently read a very interesting article on http://www.illinoishypnosis.com about weight loss and the women's battle with kilos. Many women want to loose weight very fast and they ignore the fact that this is not healthy.

After and before wedding especially females are suffering from obesity or overweight issues. Therefore they are always looking for opportunities to recover or gain their actual weight different diet and fitness program. Proper diet and fitness program they can achieve a perfect look during their wedding ceremony, which make their wedding moment more memorable and make their wedding pictures more attractive.
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Heidi Lavern's picture

It's easy for you, perhaps, to say you don't understand us, the ones that really, really, want to lose weight so they can look good in that gorgeous dress they spotted. You lost ten pounds without trying, so you were perfect in your eyes and in the eyes of the other ones in the room. I, for one, want to look at the centerpieces I bought from http://www.zappobz.com/t-products.aspx and see my perfect reflection. I'm not self-conceited, but I know this is what my husband will see, as well. I want to be beautiful for him.

For losing weight, doing exercise under a professional trainer is really nice for you. That must be helps you in weight loss and you can make yourself more beautiful and sexy for your wedding. Shapeshifter Yoga

Willing's picture

I just want to let you know that if your clients need to lose weight fast before their wedding, they can use Phen375 to achieve their goal. This dietary supplement can help them to curb their appetite and burn the body fat to enable them to drop up to 5lbs per week.

Now-a-days more number of people are considered about their health and they are giving more emphasis on the health analysis so that they are more emphasis on the increasing weight of each and every person. Particularly there are many women those who are more interested in shedding their weight and to look perfect. For this we need to be healthy first and then only we could look healthy and maintain our weight and look perfect on the day Android APK

marvinvinn's picture

I've just read an interesting concept on the incentaHEALTH's website. Just imagine how great it will be to lose weight and to maintain your health because your employer signed you up for a weight loss program.

Yes it is very true. Especially in the wedding periods! It is bad for health. They all do same thing for just one thing. The wedding photos! Yes it is. You ask anyone about it. They say these photos needed to be looking pretty good for their rest of their life.
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