Pre-Lit Tree

Oh, Christmas "Tree"

Issue: 
December
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Ladies, I have seen the light! And it’s coming from the 1,200 tiny, white, “worry-free” bulbs attached to our “100% Genuine Synthetic Pre-Lit American Fir Tree.”
 
A true Christmas miracle, our eight-foot artificial tree can be assembled in six minutes. Five if someone gets Daddy a nice, cold Guinness. There’s nothing to water. No needles to sweep. And no wonky branches or bald spots to hide behind oversized ornaments. It is completely and utterly devoid of character. And I love every artificial inch of it.
 

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