Comcast tech support

I’ve come to regard IT guys with equal parts respect and suspicion. They’re like those expensive heartworm chewables I feed my dog every month; I’m not convinced they actually do anything, but I feel better having them around.

Most recently, I asked a friend of mine in the IT department to explain why my laptop, after only four years of use, suddenly stopped working for good.

“Things break,” he said.

Things break?

MEEEEEEEP. I’m sorry. That answer is unacceptable.