30-day Shred

I did a doubletake when I saw the ad, featuring a woman hanging from a fabric sling and contorted in some kind of transcendental pose. “Aerial Yoga,” it read. It looked weird. It looked … crazy.

I was so in.

There are three things I can count on in life: death, taxes and the absence of muscle tone. No matter how many miles I run, stairs I climb, ropes I jump, or 30 Days I Shred, my butt still looks like two uncooked biscuits dropped side by side on a baking sheet.

Why can’t I accept this injustice?

Because I’m a runner who’s never looked like one. I ran cross country in high school. I ran all through college. I continue to log between 20 and 35 miles per week. And yet, to look at my thighs, you would swear my blood type is clam chowder.

I’d heard about The 30-Day Shred for weeks before I got up the nerve to try it.

No, it’s not a concerted effort to get rid of old bills and tax forms. The 30-Day Shred is a fitness DVD from "The Biggest Loser" trainer Jillian Michaels. She claims that her 20-minute workout over a period of 30 days will turn you into a lean, mean, “shredded” machine.

Or at least, get you well on your way.