Five Friday Funnies

I've been shopping the Internet for you this week, and I've brought a few things for you to try on. Don't look at me like that. Like you question my taste, like I don't know the first thing about what you'll find funny I AM YOUR MOTHER. 

Wait. That's wrong. I am not your mother. And count yourself lucky, missy, because if I were your mother, I'd wipe that sassy little smirk off your face with a quick flick of my you-know-what and send you to your room without letting you read my Five Friday Funnies. 

1. Mindy Kaling's essay "Flick Chicks" offers a hilarious breakdown of the seven female stereotypes in film. 

2. A man receives the first baboon face transplant. 

3. I recently met a woman who said this was common practice at her workplace, as well as leaving lights on and papers out, so people would think she was still working after she'd left for the day.

4. Mother of a freshly minted nine-year-old reflects on the previous night's sleepover. 
"Because of this apartment living that we chose, there was no escape from the sleepover bedlam. From the screaming and the screaming oh sweet baby Jesus the screaming. Actually it was more of a scream/laugh medley. Scraughter. (Read more)

5. This map of the world speaks volumes about America. Thank you Tabitha.