Advice to the Woman With the Mustache
To the Woman With the Furry, Furry Mustache:
If you can not wax-
Or otherwise depilate-
You must shave that facial beast.
For the good of eyeballs everywhere, you must.
I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking about what your mother said.
That if you shave your mustache it will only grow back thicker, but listen.
Here's the thing:
IT ALREADY HAS.
Shauntel Jennings has never slept like a baby. Even as an infant, her mother stood guard over her crib, waiting for her daughter to stop breathing. She shook Shauntel’s tiny body several times each night, rousing her from her breathless sleep.
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